It Starts with Me
Why do you do the things that you do? Think deeply about this… Is it to impress someone else? Is it to attempt to be better than someone else? Is it to get revenge and prove people wrong? Is it anything other than an intrinsic, self-induced purpose? Because if it is, you should stop and re-evaluate your why… Life is too short to seek validation from someone else and hand them the keys to your happiness.
Without an intrinsic ‘why’, your motivation will not last. It’s simply not sustainable to live seeking validation from others. It’s not enough to fuel your pursuit with negative energy, you will run out of fuel. Happiness is a default state in which we live in. It’s not achieved by buying things. Happiness doesn’t come from other people; it’s uncovered within you. Your happiness is a direct result of your mind. You have everything within you, to be happy. When you’re happy, you are clean. The outside factors like success, love, experiences, achievements and friendship; they are the wax that improves the shine of your happiness.
But your pursuit should not be one fueled by the perceived views of others. When you focus your efforts on becoming the person you want to become, others will flock.
Is it bad to put yourself first? Do you want to build yourself up, establish yourself, gain the knowledge to be a better man/woman, father/mother, son/daughter, family member, teammate, student, and overall human? Before you can help other people, you must first help yourself. When you stop expecting other people to make you happy, you can concentrate on making yourself a better and more positive person. But your pursuit should not be one fueled by the perceived views of others. When you focus your efforts on becoming the person you want to become, others will flock. People will enjoy being around a positive and happy person. You begin to make other people’s lives better, when you make your life better.
Let’s picture this situation like building a house. We may have dreams of creating and building a house – a huge, extravagant home with multiple stories. The dream house represents a desirable relationship and each story represents a person, perhaps a friend, a significant other or your child. You and your happiness are represented by the home’s foundation. No matter how much you try to put together this beautiful house, if the foundation isn’t sturdy and well put together, the home will be destroyed. So no matter how much you try to make other people happy and better their lives; if you don’t put the work in to better yourself and be happy, it will not work.
I think one of the greatest things in life is making other people’s lives better. One way we can do this is by teaching people. But how do we become a teacher? We must first stop giving and start listening, learning and becoming some type of expert in the field that we want to teach. We have to invest in ourselves first. Once we become an expert and invest in ourselves, we can then invest in others. We can help others and improve their lives, far better than we could before we invested in ourselves. The best teachers are the ones who are happy, who have passion and who truly care about the outcome, but don’t expect anything in return. If you are happy and positive, you will be a better teacher and you will be able to give so much more.
An important factor to remember is not forgetting about the journey. Embrace your learning and share your gift with others. Don’t become selfish and unwilling to give back to others during your self-investment. You are always capable of giving back adding value to other’s lives and doing the right thing during the journey. Giving back doesn’t have to come down to monetary contribution either. Giving people your time and heart are often times worth more than any check. Don’t find the time to invest, make time. Make time to invest in yourself and then make the time to invest in others. And instead of helping others with the idea of receiving praise or honor, simply do it because it’s the right thing to do. Don’t expect anything in-return and don’t feel the need to brag. If you have a heart of gold, you don’t have to tell people, they’ll know it because it will shine bright.
A fulfilling life means different things to different people. Some people want it all: the money, the power, the respect, the fame and the glory. But what you will often times see is that these people are constantly chasing happiness through these things. They never actually feel happy inside. Yet sometimes we see people who live a simple life, and spread positivity, and they are truly happy. It’s about finding your purpose and doing what it is you want to do. If your goal is to become a billionaire, do it because you want to do it. Don’t do it for any other reason. If your goal is to live off the land and not worry about money, go for it. I just ask that whatever it is you decide to do with your life, you do something that uncovers your happiness, and you give back; I believe this is the secret to staying motivated and living a happy and fulfilling life.
I say to myself nearly every day, “It starts with me. I have the power to make my life everything I wish it to be. I understand life has many ups and downs. I understand that being happy all the time is naïve and unrealistic. But I do know happiness is within me. I understand that without an intrinsic, self-induced purpose, I will not stay motivated. I know in order to help others and serve my purpose in life, I have to help myself first. But I will always help and give back along the way, because I will always move forward.”
I hope I could help at least one other person who read this.
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